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Home > Rivulets >
The Philosophy Of Tao In Human Interrelationship
The Tao ( ) is not just something to be talked over, however, the most important is in applying it. Now, the problem is on how we are going to apply it on our daily life.
This article would discuss over the Tao's practical applications in this real life. It is a formulation from experiences and knowledge in having Siu Tao / Xiu Dao ( ) in a practical form of human interrelation at work.
The idea of writing this article was obtained when attending a seminar about the application of human interrelationship in society. All the things being explained in that seminar apparently had principles that are exist in Taoism. For examples: to find the real me, natural ways, to do but seems not to do and awareness. It is quite true, for those who are experienced, that in practice all Tao's principles can go by themselves in their life. However, mostly for some others, if it has not been explained in such way, it definitely would be hard to know. Therefore, hopefully this explanation would help to think a bit further.
As a Taoist, of course we want to be more advance and develop. So, by already having own 'weapon', surely it can be our provision for achieving the competing capability in our work. At workplace, we as a person have to be able to work cooperatively with others, either as person to person relationship or as to people relationship.
By logical thinking, this ability can be seen from two angles, which are:
- The personal skill.
It means our ability that we have already own, such as; technical specialties, cooking skill, ability to trade, talent of writing, etc. In Taoism, we are taught to find the real me and to be ourselves. So if we have talent as a painter, don't deny that ability and don't compare it with others who have different talent, such as a poet.
We are socialized beings that live together. Therefore, definitely every individual has their own function. If every body wants to be a businessman, then what about when some one get ill? Who is going to cure him?
- The interpersonal skill for a relationship with others.
This skill is our own skill for cooperating, communicating and solving the problems. In this matter the guidance are the Wu (a deeper understanding and awareness) and the natural way.
As we know that every individual has their own character. Thus, we have to tolerate and realize / aware of our own character as well, either its' superiority or inferiority. By realizing and accepting ourselves as what we are, then we can have a natural attitude.
A pretending attitude will cause a less appreciated impression. However, this does not mean that we can do whatever we like without considering the situation or the condition where we are. As a Taoist, we should already know that as a socialized being we need to adapt ourselves to the society / environment. This ability of adaptation has to be balanced by the principles that we tenaciously hold.
For example: when we visit to a family which is in mourning situation, and at the same moment we just earned a lot of money. It certainly is impolite if we smiled / laughed happily during that moment. Though we can not deny that we were indescribable happy inside, on the other hand we also have to be able to feel others' feeling of suffering. Therefore we ought to have a sympathized feeling and feel sorry. This does not mean that we are pretending or putting a mask on, but this is the decent way and appropriate act as to our role in the society.
For further explanation, we have to know that there are a couple of aspects in human interrelationship:
- Developing personal attitude or character.
We as Taoists should have kept on trying to consummate ourselves. One of the ways is by self-introspection; that knows ourselves, either our inferiority or superiority. By knowing these, we should try to overcome our inferiority, at the same time to develop our superiority or the positive side of us. By doing so we could be more aware of ourselves, who we are. Then we could put ourselves to the right position in the society. And we would also be accepted by the society / our environment as someone with personality.
- The needs of cooperation, tolerance and leadership.
In life we cannot live alone by ourselves. It is natural that we need others to develop ourselves and this world into a better one. Since we have to work with other people, we have to be able to be cooperative. And in the cooperative works, there are a couple of elements, e.g., tolerance, devotion, honesty and initiative.
One, at minimum, should be able to lead himself effectively in order to be able to work in his environment. His initiative for helping others and his willingness to sacrifice as far as his capability would make him distinguish as a leader among his colleagues or friends.
If we verify it further down, it would shown some main points as follow:
- What we have produced is as part of the result from the cooperative work.
- The more sophisticated your skill in a cooperative work, the more chances of success of your carrier.
- A person can have success is due to the cooperation and supports from the inferiors.
- To be a good member in a cooperation, you need a skill to develop a good personal relationship.
- Fond of helping others.
- Understand the work structure and procedure of the work place.
- Be someone that can be counted on and trusted.
- Obey the organization's principles.
- Remember that "your work + my work = our work ".
- Must to develop a good relationship.
To develop a good relationship we have to do things like; to keep our words, everything we have said can be trusted, being devoted, being economized / thrifty but not stingy and etc.
- To be able to overcome the problems or take a neutral action.
It is quite often when we work, we are faced with a lot of arising problems. The ability to solve these problems is part of our capability to have relationship with others. A person who has a successful carrier is someone who is able to solve the problems that occur in that society.
In the problem solving ability, there are some aspects which worth to be brought up, those are:
- Have great determination and speed in decision making or taking an accurate action in solving problem.
- Have the ability to separate the emotional element or a personal factor in making decision.
- Have the ability to work effectively in an under pressure or stress condition.
- Able to take neutral action, those are: solving the conflict by understanding each other and satisfy both parties, without feel of revenge, envy, etc.
- Applying attitudes that can be accepted by others.
For example:
- The ability to listen to other people's opinion.
An expert in communication from Australia stated that more than 75 % of the information being received by listening are not understandable or easily to forget. Since communication is delivering messages to and receiving messages from others, so we have to be able to be a good listener. Firstly get all being mentioned, the next thing is to think it over, then give an answer afterwards. The misunderstanding is often come up because we don't want to be a good listener.
- The ability to speak clearly.
- Easily get acquainted.
That is the ability for showing personality and able to speak their opinion in a right way and precisely, furthermore, speaks honestly and determine, have a firm opinion, hold to the principle of the truth, have a strong confidence and able to give in and think before act.
We should realize that our every single conducts, behavior and words to be said are going to be noticed by our surrounding environment. It is naturally that we have to be able to do in the right way. As someone being brightly lighted in a darkness, we certainly should able to accept and to be accepted by our environment. Therefore, as a Taoist, we ought to know the ways to develop the relationship among good people.
At last but not the least, hopefully this writing can be useful. May the brightness of Tao lights us all. Give it a try and ....enjoy the result of it.
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